Space Summary
The Twitter Space #SinglesandCouplesCafe: When should you start enjoying yourself? hosted by dolawanle. In the #SinglesandCouplesCafe Twitter space, experts discussed the importance of self-care, personal growth, and prioritizing individual happiness. The conversations emphasized the significance of setting boundaries, pursuing passions, and valuing self-enjoyment regardless of relationship status. Participants shared insights on how self-discovery is an ongoing journey that enriches both personal well-being and relationships. Overall, the space highlighted the necessity of self-love, balance, and continuous self-improvement for a fulfilling life, whether single or coupled.
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Space Statistics
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Questions
Q: Why is self-care important for both singles and couples?
A: Self-care fosters personal growth, mental well-being, and strengthens relationships.
Q: How can individuals balance self-enjoyment with relationship commitments?
A: Setting boundaries, communication, and mutual respect are key in balancing personal and relational needs.
Q: Is it selfish to prioritize personal enjoyment over relationship obligations?
A: Prioritizing self-enjoyment is crucial for mental health and can ultimately enhance relationships.
Q: Why is self-discovery a continuous journey for individuals?
A: Personal growth and evolving interests require ongoing self-exploration and discovery.
Q: How does pursuing personal passions contribute to overall happiness?
A: Engaging in hobbies and interests promotes individual fulfillment and joy, enhancing well-being.
Q: What role does self-love play in maintaining healthy relationships?
A: Self-love cultivates self-respect, contentment, and enriches the quality of relationships.
Highlights
Time: 00:10:35
Prioritizing Self-Care for Personal Well-being Exploring the importance of self-love and self-care in fostering happiness and fulfillment.
Time: 00:25:50
Balancing 'Me-Time' and Relationship Commitments Discussing strategies for maintaining personal space and interests within relationships.
Time: 00:40:15
Continuous Self-Discovery Journey Embracing the idea that self-discovery is a lifelong process, irrespective of relationship status.
Key Takeaways
- The importance of prioritizing self-love and self-care regardless of relationship status.
- Embracing hobbies and passions leads to personal growth and fulfillment.
- Setting boundaries and having 'me-time' is crucial for mental well-being.
- Understanding that self-discovery is a continuous journey, regardless of relationship status.
- Encouraging individuals to pursue joy and activities that bring personal satisfaction.
- Valuing individual happiness and fulfillment over societal norms or pressures.
- Recognizing that self-enjoyment is not selfish but necessary for overall well-being.
- Being content with oneself enhances the quality of relationships, whether single or coupled.
- Balancing personal interests with relationship commitments leads to a more fulfilling life.
- Acknowledging that self-care and self-love are ongoing practices that evolve over time.
Behind the Mic
Opening Remarks
Wouldn't come to you because you're. It. Our channel, it. Hello. Good morning. Good morning. Man's capital Israel. O Gabriel and Agro. Good morning. Good morning. So how are you today? How is so. Good morning. Man's capital Kenny Israel and Agro Guru yes. This morning, we. We want to look at as a couple, when should you start enjoying yourself? When?
Reflections on Life
I have had dealings with a lot of. A lot of people over the last few years, and I have seen some disastrous consequences in terms of what happened to them in life. After laboring, after working very hard, after putting efforts into life, I have seen healthy people become unhealthy. You know, wealth disappeared, and almost all the labor they have put into life looking like it wasted, so. So did this morning. Is. Is about taking stock for our life to understand that this life that we are in, this world that we are in, is temporary. So in as much as we are making efforts, you know, to succeed, to excel, to acquire assets, to take care of our family, spouses, also, it is important to look after ourselves so that we can live long and enjoy the fruits of our neighbor labor.
The Question of Enjoyment
So that's why I'm asking the question, when should you start enjoying yourself? I look at our parents, and you can correct me if I'm wrong. Most of them spent their life looking after us, the best part of their life, laboring over the children and put in a lot. Some sold their properties, some sold their assets, some sold their belongings, you know, to look after us. But by the time we start doing well, these parents are too old, and they don't get much from life. So someone can be here in the United Kingdom or in the United States, or someone can be, let's say, in Abuja in Nigeria or Lagos, walking there and living in the best part of. Of those cities, driving nice cars and driving, you know, going on holidays around the world, and then sending 50,000 naira to the woman or the parents that labored over them.
The Disconnect Between Generations
And also the children. They leave the parents, and some of them live forever, get married, and they hardly see these parents, apart from a phone call from time to time. How are you? And the parents are almost living in abject penury. So. So what I'm trying to say is that as a parent, as a person, when should you start enjoying yourself? When should or should we start enjoying ourselves? I understand that we want the family to be okay. We want the children to be okay. you know, you want to pay the bill. You want to do what? You want to do this and that, and the. At the end of it, who is the loser?
Evaluating Parental Sacrifice
I don't know how many of you have aged parents today that you can say, okay, my parents are in their late seventies or they are in their seventies or in their eighties. Can you really say they enjoyed themselves? So if you are just joining, I want to hear from you today. You know, I want to hear from you because all of us need to make an input to this to say, well, as a person, this is how we should start looking after ourselves. Inasmuch as we are raising the children, we are paying the bills. We want our family to all be okay. We also should also take time and look after ourselves. I know a lot of rich men that are hardly at home.
The Pursuit of Wealth
They are making money and money. They have several properties, several cars, and they are pursuing more and more money. And I know a lot of them who died. Who died. And they left their properties for others to enjoy. And the wife, we just go and get another man and be funding the man's lifestyle. Whereas the man who made all the demand, who made all the money is no longer around. And that man cannot say that he enjoyed himself while he was alive. So it is a, a call for self assessment to see that, okay, you are putting a lot into life. You are working very hard. You hardly sleep.
The Strain of Modern Life
You know, the motivational speakers have pushed you to the limit. You want to conquer the world, but you hardly have time to rest or to enjoy yourself or to do anything productive. Even the house that you live in, you are hardly there. That you paid the rent, you are hardly there. That you built the house, you are hardly there. And when you are at work, you hardly eat well, feeding on junk food. you hardly, exercise. I don't, you know. So, so that is what today is about. So.
Engagement and Contributions
Air poncho. Flawless. Uche. You know, choose guru man's capital. Frank F. Omar Omay muffin moreni kg oba don't finke osi for yemi tayo fab. I think Tayofab should come in because I know you do. You do make a fantastic contribution. So I'm going to invite you to speak. What I'm trying to say to us is that a lot of people are dying without enjoying the fruits of their labor. They do everything.
The Dilemma of Enjoyment
They put the children in private schools. Some even send their family on holiday. They don't have time to go on holiday. When should one start enjoying himself or herself? When should we, as a couple or as an individual. When should you start looking after yourself? Making sure that things that you don't waste your life on this earth because a lot of lives are being wasted. I can say that from an informed view, from an informed position.
Final Thoughts
So I want to hear from you this morning. When should you start enjoying yourself? The thing there is that. Is it in your forties knowing fully well that people don't die? Bye. Age? Is it in your fifties? Is it in your sixties? When should you really pay particular attention to having so much fun in this life? My own view is that as you are growing, be looking after yourself.
Personal Well-being
Make sure you spend part of your money on yourself. On yourself. A lot of us are misguided. I see a lot of people living abroad here. They live in one room, you know, sparsely decorated and then they will be paying the bill of everyone back home and before you know it they have aged and they have little or nothing to their name and the people they are sponsoring are living well. So I think a lifestyle like that is a very dangerous lifestyle. I've watched this over the years.
Self-Care Importance
I want us to pay particular attention to ourselves. In as much as we want other people's life to better, we need to look after ourselves.
Balancing Personal Time and Responsibilities
As a lady, as a woman. Yes. You are working very hard, you've added value, you've gotten the education, you are now working and you are now raising your children. Do you have time for yourself? And as a man you built a business, you built your career, you've made so much money, do you have time for yourself? Are your children, you say you. For some of you who are probably in Nigeria, you spend millions on school fees all the time but you hardly eat well, you hardly have time for yourself. You are just, you hardly sleep. I think it should not be like that. That as you are making the effort and you are looking after these children, you are looking after your family. You should also look after yourself. Sometimes alone, sometimes with your wife, sometimes with the children. But to make sure that you are not careless because a lot of people are careless and that is why a lot of men die young, because they don't have time for themselves.
Self-Care is Essential
They don't have time for themselves. They don't look after themselves. They don't even have time to go to the doctor to check themselves out and before you know it they are gone and the wife has gone to marry another person or the man has gone to marry another person. So as a person you need to look after yourself whether you are a woman, whether you are a man, whether you are a husband, whether you are a wife, you need to look after your health. You need to look after. Apart from your health, you need to eat well, rest well, feel well, because it is important. Marriage is a marathon. It's like, it's about longevity. The more you live, the more you enjoy each other. And that is only if you look after yourself. If you look after yourself, look after your hell. So I want to hear from you today, what is your opinion on this?
Time for Enjoyment
When should we start looking after ourselves? Start enjoying ourselves. You see, there are people who have never taken, who've never gone on holiday as a wife, especially in Africa. You know, you cook, clean the house throughout the year. No break. No break. Even when the children on holiday, you see the same routine and routine. And some of us are 50, 60, we've never been outside the country. We've never visited another country. Like, saying, you know, going to Ghana, say you are in Nigeria or Ivory coast or even kutonu there. Some have never been outside the country. Never been outside the country. So what I want to say to you today is, it is very important for your life. You only live once. You only live once.
Addressing Life Pressures
I see a lot of young men dying. Pressure and pressure. Paying bills, putting children in private schools they cannot afford. Under pressure. And boom, the man is gone, the woman is gone. So it is high time you start looking after yourself. You need to pay particular attention to yourself so that we don't die young. The world has become a high pressure world. I was in Spain last week, and I was in Spain last week, and I saw a lot of elderly couples. And you're talking of around 09:00 p.m. because in Spain, in Portugal and in France, you see all these old couples and they start going out at 09:00 p.m. because the weather is still fine, still hot, unlike England, where once we get into our house around seven one, eight, that is good night.
Living Life to the Fullest
We just say, which is why a lot of people in United Kingdom are putting on weight because of the cold weather. You know, we walk, walk and get home, and that's a good night. You sleep. You eat and sleep and just piling up the fat. But I saw in Spain, in my bear last week, I was. And then I started talking to the couples. How old are you? Some will say they are 80, and some will say they are in their late seventies, some, you know, in their late sixties. And I said, well, how long have you been married? Some will say 40 years, some will say 55 years. And that. And I said, well, why do you go out? This lady? They said, why? It prolongs your life? Because you spend time together, you eat, you drink, and you can walk around, and that is why they do it.
Reflection on Self-Neglect
But among Africans, do we do that? Do we really understand what it means to have time for ourselves? The law, before I call on Tayofab, you know, to make his contribution, is that the point I'm trying to make on this program this morning is that a lot of young people are dying in their thirties, in their forties, in their fifties, and it is as a result of self-neglect and life pressure. But if we create time to look after ourselves, so you are carrying the family burden. You are helping your children, you are helping your wife, you are helping your husband, you are helping your parents. It is good. Nothing wrong with that, but not to the detriment of your health, to the extent that their problem becomes your problem and you don't live long.
Intentional Self-Care
So what I'm trying to say is we need to be conscious, we need to be intentional, you know, about looking after ourselves. So do for your wife, do for your children, do for your husband. Also do for yourself. So there is no reason why you should go to work throughout the day. You can't buy something to eat for yourself, and you'll be waiting until you get home and your body is being damaged, your health is being damaged. Your lungs, your liver, your kidney is suffering because you can. You don't. You are thinking that I'm helping my family and you are not looking after your body, you are not looking after yourself. So it is. We must be intentional. We must be intentional about looking after number one, yourself.
The Importance of Balance
Please repost this phase. Let others join. When should we start enjoying ourselves? Tayo firm. Good morning. Good morning, sir. Thank you very much for this program. This is a very important topic, and it's something that I have seen. I have observed the lives of some people, and I'm a young man, but I have seen the way some seniors are living their lives, I mean, senior citizens. The issue is that, generally speaking, marriage is work at the beginning, serious work. I hold disbelief that the big gains of marriage actually come later in life. But many people emerged themselves, you know, in this serious aqua that they find it difficult to come out.
Challenges of Responsibility
They have, they bring a lot of responsibilities upon themselves, men in particular. So. And it takes years. Start looking at children. When you have children, more than the number you can completely take care of or more than the number that you can conveniently cater for. You may have to struggle throughout life or and live life by random chances and the person will not enjoy themselves. I think let's take for example, there was a man where I was working before. Sometimes when I see him, this thing tells me that this man is not. Something is not right about him. So one day I approached him, said, enjoy yourself. Now at least you can order for something good.
Finding Balance in Life
Eat. He said that I should not worry presently that was then, that he was taking care of his student. By the time those students, you know, become successful and they will be sending him clothes, sending him food, sending him cars. And I told him, I said, sir, it's better you learn to balance things.
The Importance of Balancing Personal Care
Because if you spend the most active part of your life struggling to take care of your children later in life, by the time those students become successful and you know, you are expecting that, okay, that will be. That's the time that you be enjoy yourself. That might be the time that your doctor will tell you that, okay, that food that you like most, that you should not take it again. That thing that you like most, the doctor might say, okay, don't take it again, but for certain health reasons. So I told him, I said, if you balance things now, it is when you still have cheat that you can eat what you like. Is it when everything is perforated, you not be enjoying yourself? No. So many people forget themselves, you know, they get busy with the azus. I want to take care of my children, take care of my wife. I want to pay this, all that running up and down.
Prioritizing Self-Care Amidst Responsibilities
But they forget themselves, they that are actually working for the money, you know, like you said, sir, during the introduction, you should, I mean, as a mandev, because this thing actually falls on men. It's good to have a high sense of responsibility. I always appreciate that. But at the same time, as high as your sense of responsibility may be, don't forget yourself. And enjoying yourself is not even just about eating food alone. Check up, rest, you know, have your gp. That's, I think that's what you call it in England. Have your doctor go for a regular checkup. Buy good clothes, you know, enter a nice store, remove the shoes you are wearing, buy new ones. We are it from that place. Go out, you know, get a nice tailor.
Creating Cherished Memories
When you see nice, so we are mean, then create memories with your children, your wife, you know, if you have the money once in a while. I told, I told. Who was that? That joking. I just said, you know, the person saw me, you know, hanging out with my families or somewhere, you know, I said, I think, was it the picture I forgot? Maybe we saw face to face or was it a picture? Was it a picture that I forgot to. And I said, and I told the person, I said, you know, sometimes when you eat out, you know, it's fine. It's not that there's no food at all, but, you know, just decide to leave yourself up to stress, act out in a nice place, enjoy it's memory, you know? You know, for yourself and your children.
The Dangers of Neglecting Personal Well-being
So many people forget themselves and, you know, they labor and labor, and later they get weak. Some, luckily, they die, you know, along the way without even reaping what they have. So it is good to labor, to act because you want to acquire properties, buy land, build houses and for your children. But life is designed in a very mysterious way that by the time those children even grow up, they may not even have interest in all these things that you have acquired. They have come with their own idea. It's a different generation from yours, although it is good. I'm not saying one should not do it, but the real issue is that don't forget yourself.
Time to Enjoy Life Now
You yourself, you don't need to suspend your happiness, suspend phone, suspend time that you need to enjoy life. Because as the children are growing older yourself too, your life is going little by little, it is reducing. So we should not postpone or suspend our happiness. At the time, my wife and my children, were planning something, you know, just like a mini event to mark something. So I, I told my wife, I said, come. I said, now. Said, what brought about the idea. Said I wanted to take them out on like a vacation. I said, what about the idea? I told her, I said, come. I said, the future has started now.
Living in the Present
Don't think that the future they used to talk about, maybe it's still ahead. No, I said, it is now. It has started every day's future, every day by day. So I said, whatever God gives us in our little capacity, once in a while, let us create memories that, oh, you will sit down and look back and say, yes, no, it was worth it. That, you know, some people cannot say that from. There are some people that they cannot remember a year from January to December that they really enjoyed themselves. They cannot. And it's really, it's really unfortunate. So.
The Value of Enjoying Life
And some people, the last time they can remember that they actually had fun, that they actually, you know, tasted live, they smiled genuinely was when they were single. Some people, from the moment they entered marriage, it has been, they have been struggling why it's number, you know it's I will not say why that is common with a majority of couple some always have it in mind and they always create the time at least to wine to enjoy. May God give us may God bless us with money.
Life, Procreation, and Enjoyment
I told somebody, I said do you know, because someone we're discussing someone else said why is it that it is the blessed privilege that you know, multiply in procreation that they have a lot of children that even the people that are average or, you know which they don't they have they always have a sizable family. I told the person, I said the reason is that most poor people the only thing they have to enjoy themselves is sex. But because they don't understand that there are other things you can use to have fun in life.
Finding Joy in Life
It is not just sex. If we look at the wealthy people they can create fun out of anything. So my summary let me not take much of our time as the summary of my the contribution this morning is that as we progress in life particularly in the active part of our life we should not forget ourselves. We should not forget ourselves. We should enjoy ourselves according to the extent of our means and at the same time let us play our roles, our responsibilities let us balance things.
Creating a Balanced Life
It should not be one sided. The whole focus and attention should not be on children or relative no. Ourselves to let us at least keep something for ourselves let us take our but let us make it balanced to the extent of our means and let us have that mindset that the future is not in a particular year. It's every day. Every day particularly when you are still active when your teeth are see strong when your eyes are see sharp when your legs are strong not when your legs are no longer cooperating.
The Importance of Health and Enjoying Life
That's when I say you want to enjoy or maybe where your teeth are no longer you know, they are no longer giving the right signals. So I beg us. It's a very important topic. Let us be let us be in mind that we have to enjoy ourselves we have to balance things and we should not forget ourselves. I thank you very much.
Work-life Balance
It it. Subscribe our channel. It it it it it. I think there's a network issue. Hello hello? Hello, Dara? Flawless. Yeah. Okay. I mean thank you. Thank you. I don't know what happened to the to the I just found that I muted myself unknowingly so, yeah. So what I was trying to say is that as a professional, as a worker, one of the ways to enjoy ourselves is to make sure we take our break.
Taking Breaks and Physical Activity
Don't walk throughout your shift. I said, normally during my break hours, I will take an hour and walk around my office, get into the restaurant and eat something healthy and walk back to the office. And also I said, I deliberately park my cardinal somewhere that is at least a mine away from my office and so that I can walk to the office and walk back. It is good for the heart and our body organs, the kidney, the liver, the lungs.
Staying Active for a Healthy Life
And that because if you form the habit of just being at your desk throughout the day, over time that person is going to have health challenges because the sedentary nature of modern day jobs kills faster. So therefore, we should pay attention. Let us pay attention to our health. Pay attention to your health. Look after yourself. You are looking after the children also, as you are putting them to bed, make sure also you also, you are resting.
The Balance Between Work and Rest
You know, you know that sometimes I will get, I'll say to my wife, oh, that computer, put it away. It is time to sleep. He also will say, I should put my own computer away. I know you want to you to make it, you want to do very well. You want to get to the top in your profession. But also you don't want to die young. If we don't look after our health intentionally, it may be difficult to live long. Also, spend some money on yourself.
Importance of Self-Care in Family Life
Look after yourself. I know some of you women, you are so, you so care for your family. You buy your children.
Life and Responsibility
Deleted. But you hardly buy anything for yourself. If anything happens, those children will leave. I pray that God prolong our life. You know that. That is about the much that I want to say today. Unless any of you have any contribution to make, we will have to round up in another ten minutes. I have said severally that most of our parents didn't enjoy their life. They have too many children and they spend their life looking after children, looking at it.
Financial and Emotional Pressure
I don't think any man should still be paying a children's school fees at the age of 60. I don't think so. I don't think so. Because that is pressure. That is not good for the heart. So, I don't think anyone should still be paying school fees and. But it's a lie. I see people who are in their late sixties and they are still paying school fees for their children. So one of the ways to look after yourself also is to make sure you don't have too many children. To the extent that you labor, labor. And you don't have time to even enjoy yourself.
The Importance of Balance
That by the time the children start doing well, you are already old. So it is very important that we bear all these things in mind. Let us bear it in mind. I want us to enjoy the fruits of our labor. But also we have to be cognizant of the fact that self neglect can lead to a short life. Self neglect can lead to a short life. So let us pay particular attention to our health, our life. Look after your husband, look after your children. But don't neglect yourself.
Self-Care and Neglect
You know, some women will cook and cook. Everybody will be eating. And they will go and be watching the plate. Without eating, you are neglecting yourself. That plate, that washing of plate or tidying up of the kitchen can't wait. You go and eat first. Eat like them. You understand? Eat. Eat. And some will get you out. Walk. Sometimes walk to the shop. Get something healthy to eat. Don't say you eat when you get home.
Healthy Living
That is how many people's health become damaged because you're starving yourself unnecessarily. And you are so spiritual. You are spiritually powerful. You speak in tongue, but your body is not the spirit. Your body is. Your body's biological. And if you neglect the body, it's going to throw something back at your old age. Years of neglect can lead to poor health later in life. So you see a lot of people in their late forties, in their early fifties, they already. They are very sickly.
Recognizing Neglect
Why? Because they have neglected themselves all their life. All their life. They have overworked the body. By the time they are 50 or 50 something, they are already. They are already tired. So I want you to understand that you should start enjoying yourself now. So today, maybe you decide to walk to the mall around you and just treat yourself. And I said to people, sometimes it is good to sit down and let people serve you.
Embracing Enjoyment
Let people serve you. You will feel important. Let them serve you. Order that food, order that drink. Sit down. Let. Let the. Let. That will make you to feel like you are living. So don't neglect yourself. Don't neglect your health. Don't die before your time. Especially you. As you are looking after your family. You want your children to do well.
The Pursuit of Life
Also. Don't neglect your health. I see you win. I see. I see you succeed. I see you excel. But pay particular attention to your health. Look after your health. Look after yourself. Don't look after your husband or your children or pay bills to the detriment of your health and your ability to live long. That is what I want to say today.
Final Thoughts and Upcoming Engagements
And since there is no contribution from you, that is my message to you. Start enjoying yourself now. Don't leave it till very late. Don't leave it. Because people, if you forget everything I've said today, people don't die by age. People don't die by age. So you can't say it is old people that dies. No, it doesn't work like that. You understand? Because of that, look after your health whilst taking care of your. Your family.
Conclusion and Next Steps
Don't do that. To the detriment of your health and about living long. You know, I will be joining up with you again next Saturday. I have a speaking engagement in London here by midday and I've got to travel there, so I've got to round up now. So thank you, Tayofab, for the fantastic contribution. Pastor Ayuba, I see you. Dara, I see you. Maureen, I see you. 93 games, flawless.
Gratitude and Future Discussions
Okay, Meze, guru, lichos, Adele and all of you on this platform today, thank you for coming. Next Saturday we will have an in-depth discussion on another interesting topic. God bless you and I love you all. Have a wonderful weekend.
