Space Summary
The Twitter Space Carmen & Co. Has PTSD effected you re: DV, Addiction, Sexual Assault? hosted by carmenL_v2. Carmen & Co. Space delves into the impactful effects of PTSD stemming from experiences of domestic violence, addiction, and sexual assault. Through personal stories, expert insights, and advocacy discussions, the space shines a light on the significance of safe spaces, professional guidance, and community support in navigating trauma recovery. Addressing stigmas, cultivating cultural competence, and promoting self-care practices form the core ethos of the space, fostering resilience and empowerment among survivors. Educational initiatives, inclusive care, and empathetic listening underscore the transformative journey towards healing and understanding.
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Space Statistics
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Questions
Q: Why is creating safe spaces important for survivors of DV, addiction, and sexual assault?
A: Safe environments encourage survivors to share, heal, and receive support from empathetic communities.
Q: How does professional guidance contribute to the recovery journey of individuals with PTSD?
A: Qualified counselors and therapists offer tools, coping mechanisms, and validation crucial for healing.
Q: What role do advocacy programs play in addressing PTSD-related stigmas?
A: Advocacy initiatives raise awareness, challenge misconceptions, and promote understanding around PTSD and its impacts.
Q: Why is trauma-informed care significant for organizations supporting trauma survivors?
A: Adopting trauma-informed practices ensures respectful, empowering, and sensitive care for individuals affected by trauma.
Q: How can individuals contribute to de-stigmatizing conversations about PTSD?
A: Open dialogues, education, and empathy can help normalize discussions, reduce judgment, and support those impacted.
Q: Why is cultural competence crucial in providing care to survivors of diverse backgrounds?
A: Cultural sensitivity ensures tailored, inclusive support that respects the unique experiences and needs of survivors from various cultural backgrounds.
Q: Why is it important to understand the intersection of mental health, trauma, and societal structures?
A: Recognizing these intersections helps address systemic issues, provide holistic care, and create supportive environments for survivors.
Q: How do coping strategies help survivors manage symptoms of PTSD?
A: Healthy coping mechanisms like mindfulness, self-care practices, and therapy aid in reducing triggers and enhancing emotional well-being.
Q: What are some self-care practices that can benefit individuals dealing with PTSD?
A: Regular exercise, journaling, mindfulness meditation, and seeking professional help are effective self-care strategies for managing PTSD symptoms.
Q: How can individuals offer meaningful support to loved ones with PTSD?
A: Listening without judgment, offering reassurance, encouraging therapy, and practicing patience are key ways to support individuals managing PTSD.
Q: Why is community support essential for individuals recovering from trauma?
A: Communal backing provides a sense of belonging, understanding, and solidarity crucial for the healing journey of trauma survivors.
Highlights
Time: 09:15:22
Creating Safe Spaces for Healing Exploring the impact of safe environments in facilitating trauma recovery and empowerment.
Time: 19:45:11
Cultural Competence in Support Services Discussing the importance of cultural sensitivity in providing effective and inclusive care to diverse survivor populations.
Time: 25:30:08
Advocating for Trauma-Informed Practices Highlighting the significance of trauma-informed care and advocacy in promoting healing and resilience among trauma survivors.
Time: 30:11:05
Breaking Stigmas Surrounding PTSD Addressing the importance of open conversations to destigmatize PTSD, addiction, and sexual assault-related traumas.
Time: 36:02:19
Community Support and Empowerment Exploring the role of communal support in fostering resilience, understanding, and empowerment for trauma survivors.
Time: 42:55:14
Educational Resources for PTSD Awareness Emphasizing the need for educational materials and programs to increase awareness and knowledge about PTSD and its effects.
Time: 48:20:02
Self-Care Strategies for PTSD Management Sharing effective self-care techniques to help individuals cope with PTSD symptoms and promote emotional well-being.
Time: 54:10:17
Empathy and Active Listening in Support Highlighting the importance of empathy, validation, and attentive listening in providing meaningful support to those affected by trauma.
Time: 59:45:21
Survivor Stories and Empowerment Sharing narratives of resilience, healing journeys, and empowerment among survivors of DV, addiction, and sexual assault.
Time: 67:30:10
Trauma Awareness and Mental Health Education Promoting understanding, empathy, and mental health literacy to create informed and supportive communities for trauma survivors.
Key Takeaways
- Survivors of DV, addiction, and sexual assault often experience PTSD, impacting their daily lives and relationships.
- Creating safe spaces for survivors to share their stories can be therapeutic and empowering.
- Professional guidance and peer support play pivotal roles in the recovery process for individuals affected by trauma.
- Educational resources and advocacy programs are essential in raising awareness and combating the stigma surrounding PTSD.
- Self-care practices and coping strategies help survivors navigate triggers and manage symptoms of PTSD.
- Awareness of trauma-informed care is crucial for organizations and individuals supporting those with PTSD.
- Understanding the intersections of trauma, mental health, and societal structures is key in addressing the needs of survivors.
- Breaking the silence and destigmatizing discussions around PTSD and related traumas is a vital step towards healing and resilience.
- Empathy, validation, and active listening are fundamental in providing effective support to individuals dealing with PTSD.
- Inclusivity, intersectionality, and cultural competence are essential in offering comprehensive care to survivors from diverse backgrounds.
Behind the Mic
Introduction and Arrival
Hello, everybody. I'm giving it a few minutes to let people show up, sharing out the space. And thanks for coming up. And if you all want a mic, please grab one. Chesapeake. Hey, sweetheart. I didn't know if you wanted me to come on the end. I want you to come in the very beginning, like, every time. Miss Brooke. How you doing, honey? It's been better. My house is. It's a war zone out here. It's really sad.
Disaster Conversations
Where are you at? I'm in Georgia. I was in the Iowa, but last night we had a tornado come over our neighborhood. Any casualties? No. Thank God. Thank God for that. That's what I always. That's what I always ask for. And I'm like, well, you know, everything else can be rebuilt, but a person can't be. So even though it's hard in those times, I know it is that my house burnt down last year, a month before my son's wedding. And right after that, within a week, I got into a really bad car accident and a week before his wedding, and, like, was bruised, and I was a passenger in the car.
Personal Struggles and Adaptations
And then right after the wedding, I had to go in the hospital because of the concussion and so. And then after that, I healed, and then I was a passenger, also in a car. And a little over three months ago, someone's t boned us and hit it on my side. And I had to have emergency hip replacement and some other surgery. So what the. I kind of lost her surgery. Like, all these curveballs. My husband can't get to me. He's out of town, so he's in the Carolinas, and he can't get to me. He doesn't know when he's going to be able to get here, but his brother's going to bring me a generator. Thank goodness.
Community Blessings and Resilience
So maybe I can cook for the neighbors. Yeah, that would be lovely. Yeah, that's kind of hard whenever your, you know, better half is gone. What part is he in? The Carolina, south and north. He's in South Carolina. Okay. That's where I'm at right now. I was just wondering is he's in. St. Helena, near fripps. Okay. Nice, nice. I'm in, Myrtle. I did a, An event. I did a plan the event there at the house of blues one year, a vampire ball.
Events and Shared Experiences
When are you doing that? Oh, I haven't done it a couple years. Oh, okay. Oh, God. I say what you gonna be. I love that. I love that. I love the house of blues. I'm from North Carolina originally, and I actually live in North Carolina, but I run a business in South Carolina because, of course, it's the tourist area. And so I have a property management business here. So in the summer I'm really here and North Carolina, so I kind of call them both my home.
Connection through Shared Backgrounds
But North Carolina is my, where I was born and raised. And so that's my, I'm a Georgia Florida girl. Are you? Yeah, I was raised in Georgia and Florida. Cool. So. Well, I love Georgia and I love Florida, so I have no complaints there. What parts of Georgia? I'm Augusta area. Okay. I went to Augusta and spoke at a YdEz, at an na convention.
Reflections on Milestones
I was the main speaker at one after being clean for 15 years. Oh, congratulations on that. Well, yeah, I mean, actually, I just have today, but I think it's been 20. I don't even know. I'm telling you, girl, I just lived just by the day. A lot of people, like, can know it to the t, which I understand. It's a great feeling to have. But for me, I just live.
Living in the Present
You know, they'll say, carmen, how long you got clean? And I'm thinking, well, I woke up at 930 this morning. So whatever that is to now, that's how long I got clean. Yeah. Yeah. Just through the day. I can't do anything about yesterday and tomorrow. I ain't got here yet, so I'm living for the day.
Health Challenges and Support
So how you been doing? How's things going with everything? How are you feeling? I've been better this week. I've had a flare up this week and stress can cause a lot of it too, with the lupus. So I had a blackout. Did I talk to you the other day? Yeah. You try. Yeah, see, I.
Overcoming Adversity
I talked to somebody else that I have no recollection of talking to my husband or anybody. But I saw where I tried to call you. Yeah, I don't remember. Yeah, yeah, it missed. And then I called. I think I called back. It was a brief. And then I realized I could tell something was going on, so I sat right there and, like, and waited. You know, if you needed to call back, I'll just, you know, I'll keep answering.
Understanding PTSD
Right. That's what we do, you know? Look, PT, post traumatic stress disorder is a very serious disorder. You know, period. It comes in and it comes in different levels. It comes from many different things. Like I said in one of the, you know, the quote, post that I did above our space, it comes from war, it comes from family relationships, it comes from death, it comes from domestic violence. It comes from drug addiction.
The Collective Experience
PTSD comes from police. Police officers have it. You know, our first responders, of course, our military, as always. But, you know, our. You know, everything in our. Anything in our life that causes us traumatic for us, whatever that may be, can cause PTSD. And I feel like sometimes that we go through. Right really right now, going through life with all these.
Navigating Modern Challenges
With all this political and the evil in the world today, you know, we have to be focused on that because weren't focusing on it for so long. And that's why we. Where we are, I think we're all collectively, in some form or fashion, dealing with it in some kind of way. I think we're all collectively dealing with PTSD.
The Impact on Children
And it's so sad to even think that our children deal with that. Or our children watch us deal with it. So, you know, exactly think about the PTSD that some have from just finding out what the government's doing. Done. Yes, I have a best. I have a really good friend. She is. She had ran her own company for many years, very successful. She was in denial. And she called me one day and, you know, and I do what I do. So she knows. Like, she knows what I do. She knows what I believe. And it didn't stop me, but I kept praying for her and kept telling God to put his hands on her and open her mind and her eyes, and he did. And when he did, she didn't take it so well.
Friend's Struggles
So she's literally. She is actually insane right now. She had a mind slip. It literally pushed her over the edge. And she is not. She's not okay. She's not in her right mind right now. She constantly repeats over and over again things that's going on in our nation with the indoctrination of the children. She's at questions if she was indoctrinated because she's gay and she don't know if she's gay now, you know? So she. It really hit her really hard, and she's just not. She doesn't know what she thinks. She's. Half the Internet is sad. It's sad. That's where. That's how it's okay. But, yeah, it affected her. So it's. I mean, right now she is currently at home, but she. She's not doing good.
Current State of Awareness
And she's just. She's just not right. She's not here with us yet. I feel like God, you know, God's got a little bit more. He's got more time with her. And I'm sure that if he sees fit, she'll come around. But PTSD is very hard. So welcome in, everyone. If you're in here, please, if you don't mind sharing out the space, we're here tonight just to talk about something a little different than politics. If you're like me, I am in. If I'm not in a space, I'm in my community. If I'm not in my community, I'm at the capitol of my state, and I'm in front of legislators constantly trying to get things done, passed, taken out for the children, to protect them for our truckers, that our owner operators aren't being treated properly nor paid properly.
Advocating for Truckers and Veterans
They're having to pay for parking. They can't pay. I mean, in North Carolina, they can't even park their trucks in some cities at home, they have to park them down the road and walk, you know, and so forth. So I advocate for the truckers and the unsung heroes of our nation. I truly believe they're the backbone of our nation. Our military is the heartbeat, and I love my military, veterans, and all I stand and I fight for the veterans. And our VA hospitals are shitty, and they need to start treating our veterans with more respect. But other than that's what I do. And then I work. I'm a mom. I work, and I am a survivor of domestic violence.
Sharing Personal Experiences
I was in a very sick relationship when I was younger, and then I'm also a victim. I was a victim of an attack by a stranger when I was closing my law firm down one day, and that was in the daytime. A complete stranger attacked me, put me in a headlock, kidnapped me, strangled me till I was unconscious, and sexually assaulted me. And I was saved by angel that God sent knocked on my window. And here I stand today before everybody to be able to tell my story and my hope and know that God's with me and he's been with me and he's with you. I hope that this helps people have another voice. I've also went through other traumatic experiences.
Trauma and Healing
As I was speaking about earlier, as in, you know, car accidents, they can be very traumatic. People don't realize that, you know, different things in our life. A drug addiction. I was addicted to pills for some years because I broke my neck in a car accident at the age of 16. I got addicted to the pain pills, and I have been clean for over 20 years now. And so if I can do it, I know you can do it. So I have a little bit of. I mean, I've got some experiences in life and which has caused me some PTSD. And my grandfather was a Vietnam vet, and my father was a vet.
Generational Trauma
And, you know, I watched my grandfather suffer, and he used alcohol to mask his for a very long time, until the day my father died. And then when that day happened, my father got his prayer answered, my grandfather put down the alcohol, and two weeks later, he was in church and he was getting saved. So, you know, a good thing can come out of something bad, right? But he suffered with PTSD as well, and he was in denial for so many years. And I just think it's important that we stop and we say, hey, are you okay? You might not be suffering from PTSD, but you might just be suffering, or you might just be having, you know, a little too much of it.
The Importance of Checking In
Like, there's a lot going on in this world. So sometimes we just need to stop and ask our neighbors and our family members and our friends if they're okay. Ask ourself if we're okay. So I felt like we should have a space about something different than politics. And so I don't know how that's going to work for some. Some may not be able to drag away, you know, pull theirself away from that, but I would suggest that you do that. I've been on this mission since I was 18 years old. I came awake, then I started going to school board meetings and jumping into city council meetings at the age of 18 and seeing things for what they worth. And I'll tell you, I need breaks.
Welcoming Others to Share
So I hope you guys enjoy it tonight. I have Miss Brooke in here tonight. I met her a couple weeks ago. Her story is inspired. Inspiring. It's gut wrenching. It's sad, it's gruesome, but it's inspiring. And she gave another person a voice, and, you know, that's what it's about. She came up, she spoke, and when she did, then one came up, then, you know, and that's why we do it. You know, we got to share our experience, because the men and women that are suffering should be able to have a safe place and a voice to come and talk about it.
Brooke's Story
So, with that being said, I'll just roll it on over to Brooke, see if she has anything to say. Good evening, guys. You can call me Brooke. I'm not scared to tell my name. I guess I just go out and say that I married my rapist. My ex husband raped me before were married. I had slit my wrist one night and stole my dad's car because he wouldn't come and see me. And that night he raped me with blood all over him. And I could still see all the blood that he smeared on his face. And I was so self loathing at that time. I was a teenager, he was 25.
Manipulation and Control
So he manipulated me in a way that you just. You don't know what's up or down and you're never going to amount to anything. You'll never find anybody like me. I'm sure those are broken records, that all these men use our women, a lot of women use the same thing to manipulate you into thinking that you're never going to be anything without them. And I got the. My grandmother took me under her wing and grabbed me one night and threw me in a shower because I had a. I overdosed on pills that night and she threw me into an ice bath and slapped the shit out of me and told me that, you don't do this for a man. You don't do this for a man.
Living Through Abuse
And I end up marrying him. And. Eleven years of torment and beatings. it was a war zone. He would leave for days and I wouldn't know how I was going to have him greet me. How was he going to greet me when he got home? I. He had three, four, five waves. I'd. I'd call him waves. his Jack Daniels was the worst wave. He would drink Jack Daniels until the bottle was gone. I still, to this day, can't smell that smell.
Traumatic Memories
It sends me back to places I don't want to be. He abandoned me in places. He would leave me stranded and I would walk until I couldn't walk. And at night, in the middle of nowhere, he would just get me out of the car and drag me out of the car. If he didn't hear what he wanted to hear or the guns, I would. Most of the time, I got to hide the guns. And if he didn't see it, he would. He wouldn't use the guns to scare me. But the very last moment when he put the gun, the very last time that he put a gun in my mouth and pulled the trigger, it dry fired. And I still taste that smell, that dry fire. Click. The smell. I still taste it and I can smell that gun. It was a gift, my. It was a Christmas present of mine for my dad. It was my dad's Christmas present to me. But he took it. And I said, if I don't leave now, that he will kill me.
A Near Miss with Death
I'll be dead in the next eleven years. We'll come to find out. Ten years to the day, almost. He's in jail for manslaughter from beating his brother in law. That's a little scary, right? A little close to home there? Yeah. Yeah, it's. It's hard. I mean, there's so many stories entwined into it. But that's the gist when you feel so self-loathing of yourself that you marry your rapist is. That's a mind fuckery excuse my language, but it is when you come out of that. And I had to spend three years in a camper down by the river. I know that's a joke. I know it's a joke. And it makes me laugh now a little bit. That I spent three years down by the river in a camper. And it was the best three years of my life. Healed. I coped. I screamed I could do and go on the river and just heal, and I healed.
Personal Healing Journey
I mean, I still suffer, but a big wound healed in me and I can do anything. And that. That's what I can do. Anything I put my mind to, that's what's come out of it, is I survived eleven years of a war zone. Sorry about that. I was sharing the post. I'm gonna get my amazing co-host up here. Brent's in the house. Brent's in the house. So, you know, to be that close to death, you know, some. Some I hope will never know, and I pray that they never have to know. And they can. They, you know, they may be going through some things that we're going, that we're sharing about, but it hasn't got to that point yet. And we're here to tell you to go now. And that we offer. And what I can offer is I am.
Life Experiences and Guidance
I have went through this life experience, right? They say, oh, you got to go get a degree. And I'm like, nope, nope. I really don't. I'm not a doctor, and I'm not. I'm not here to prescribe you anything or diagnose you, but what I am here to tell you is if you're in a domestic violence relationship, or if you're in any kind of anything in your life that's causing you harm or pain or no peace, taking your peace, then you need to leave it behind. And so if you need help and guidance and an ear, that's what I am here for. And I'm sure Brooke is as well. They say, you know, one addict can best understand another, right? That's the saying that they say through the narcotics Anonymous and aA, one alcoholic, you know, and that is the truth.
Understanding Pain from Shared Experiences
It is. It is very true. Because one that has not went through that cannot understand why one may do that, one that hasn't been through the domestic violence cannot understand why someone would stand there and take that. And so they, you know, we best understand each other, and we are our own worst enemies. So no one can beat me up as bad as I can beat myself up. Exactly. It's kind of like the military. When you're in an abusive relationship. They built, they tear you down to build you back up to what they want you to be, but just in a negative, evil way. They chip at your self-esteem. They chip at you. They chip away your soul, your spirit, your happiness. They isolate you.
Isolating Toxic Relationships
They tell you that your family is no good. They tell you that the people around your friends, they're no good. Why are you hanging out with this person when in theory, it's the person that you're sleeping with is the one that shouldn't be in your life? In my. Where I was, I shouldn't have been with him. It wasn't my family at that moment. Now my family is a whole different ballgame. And I've got other stories and that we. That are just as atrocious and probably the reason why I ended up with somebody like that. But now I can say that I'm married to an amazing man, a police officer, a sergeant, and as a police officer, that saved my life as a paramedic, he was a fireman, and he worked undercover.
Support from a Loving Partner
He's worked his whole life for public service and has given his whole life to helping people and saving people's lives. And he saved mine. And he's saving it every day. Now, look at that. How about that? You know, the beautiful thing of that story is where we. So our journeys. Our journeys are different, but our pain is the same. And so how do I identify with someone else? Sharing their story is I can recognize the pain, and that alone is enough for me to rec. You know, to identify. Now, when I. When I went to na at a young age and was trying to get clean, I wasn't ready.
The Struggle with Addiction
So I'm looking, I'm sitting there, and I'm completely just. Everything someone's saying, I'm going, that's not me. That's not me. That's not me. Check, check. That's not me. Check that off. Check that off. Check that off. Nope, nope, nope. And I was different, right? Because a doctor gave me my medication and I was taking it because the doctor was giving it to me. But yet I was abusing it as well. I didn't know that this stuff was going to have me addicted, but guess what? It did. And I continued to do that. So, therefore, at that point, I chose to become an addict. I chose that lifestyle. But I remember going to my very first rehab, and, you know, things like that.
Reflections on Family and Addiction
I come from a very good family, a family that loved me, a family that. That supported me, that taught me morals, values, principles, and so forth. They weren't perfect because none of us are. But I had a good family. Addiction does not discriminate, and neither does anything else that has to deal with domestic violence, you know, with sexual assault, with anything. You know, I'm telling you, car accidents. I mean, anything can cause PTSD. But I went. And when I finally surrendered to the disease of addiction is when Carmen was ready to surrender. I sat in a room full of like-minded people, but I sat out there and I didn't judge them.
Finding Community in Recovery
I actually sat there and listened and started judging myself. And I needed to judge myself because I needed to see my wrongs instead of playing victim.
Identifying Pain through Shared Stories
And at that point, I learned to identify not only to some of their story, but more to the pain of, because that's what connected me. At the end of the day, my pain was the same as theirs at the end of the story, and I was ready to do whatever it took to get there. It was the same with domestic violence. A lot of people question you, and they say, why do you stay with them? Or, you know, how could you ever let someone do that to you? And so on. And I'm like, well, you know, I didn't choose it. I just honestly got into a relationship with someone that I truly loved. And I had two children with one who had passed away, and the other one is alive and healthy and married today.
The Journey of Abuse and Survival
But I didn't choose for him to abuse me. And he mentally abused me first. And once he got mentally, then he got physical, and I did fight back. I just wasn't quite strong enough, you know, with the mental aspect. He would tear me down. So I probably didn't put my all into it. And then I woke up one night, and he had stabbed me. That's how. That's how I woke up. And he broke the blade off inside and in me. So I had a blade knife blade, surgically removed, and I survived it. Here I am. So, I mean, I'm grateful. I'm grateful because I can share my story.
Sharing Strength and Success
I can share my strength. I can share. I can share my success story, right? This is it. This is the success story. This is how I did it. This is the only thing I can do is share my experience and share how I did it, not how you should do it. I can share how the others helped me through it. And I realized that I cannot do anything, but we can. I understand what that meant. I understood what it meant to surrender. I understood what it meant to be afraid. I understood what it meant to be vulnerable.
Understanding Resilience and Community
But I understood what it meant to be fierce, to be strong, to stand up for each other. So I think I've got some. Think I'm having a little bit of connection issues, guys. Sorry about that. But that's what I understood. So with that being said, I want to say hello to Brent. He's my amazing co host. How you doing, Brent? Yeah, Corman, I can hear you. Maybe Brent's busy in the background, but I wanted to say hey to you, too. I was gonna say hey to Brent first, and when he's available, he'll say hey. And I want to say how to you. How you doing, Miss Cajun?
Navigating Personal Struggles
I'm doing pretty good, Carmen. Doing pretty good. I just got in here and was just kind of listening and actually had my aunt call me yesterday and asked about coming to stay today. My. My uncle's not doing well, and we're trying to set up hospice and stuff for him right now, but, yeah, so that's why I was, like, just a lot going on, you know? But that's life, you know what I'm saying? It just knocks you on your butt. You just got to get up and keep pushing forward for, you know, for yourself and for everybody else, you know, your family, your kids, your grandchildren and stuff.
The Impact of Past Experiences
And, you know, I'm just. The things and my journey I've had in life, it. It broke me for a very long time. Literally broke me. And, you know, I feel like I'm a much stronger person now because of the experiences, you know, I've endured throughout my entire life, you know, occasion. I'm sorry. I did not mean to throw the thumbs down. I wanted to say really quick, can you. If you don't, if you have a moment to, can you share a little bit about your experience with. I mean, look, there's a few in here that probably, I think two in here that probably didn't hear your story the last time.
The Importance of Sharing Stories
That's two. And that's the main thing, is that we resonate and get our experience out there to any of them. I did see that one, someone did take a mic, so I'm going to call on them next. And I. They're both taking a mic. Love that. But I won't catch yet. Just kind of tell us briefly about what you went through and how it affected you and where you are today. Okay, hold on. Let me get my pups in this house because they might start barking. Hurry up. Come inside. There you go. Sorry about that, Carmen.
Reflections on Childhood and Relationships
Okay, well, thank you, Carmen, for having this space. And is it Brett or Brent? Okay. Thank you all so much. I appreciate that. I hope we, you know, able to get, you know, more people in. But of course, I'm so happy to have the. The couple that are in here right now. Thank you so much for being in here. So, yeah, mine, I think, you know, looking back at things now, you know, I'm 51. I had a rough childhood. And I really think that had a lot to do with the men I chose to be in my life, which wasn't good, but.
The Beginning of a Complicated Journey
So how mine, excuse me. Started out was, you know, I met someone. Of course, I thought I fell in love. And shortly after that, I got pregnant. Was told I couldn't have children, but I got pregnant. Right. And a couple of months into my pregnancy, I was digging in his bedroom, his old bedroom at his mom's house, and found some cards and stuff. And unbeknownst to me, I didn't know that he was, I don't know, I guess a crack addict, a recovering crack addict. That. That concerned me.
Confronting Difficult Realities
I questioned him about it, you know, because of open honesty, right. In a relationship, I felt like that's something. It should have been shared. He wasn't too happy, you know, because I went through stuff maybe I shouldn't have. I don't know, I was. I was curious, I guess. And also, I don't know, maybe in the back of my mind, just because of what I've been through all, you know, my childhood, I had trust issues. I don't know, maybe. But anyway, I know it sounds crazy, right? But anyway, moving forward, when I was about five and a half months pregnant, I got really sick and kind of skipped through that part.
