Space Summary
The Twitter Space 55-Minute Midday️Mindset w/Dr. Heath Stories We Tell Ourselves hosted by therapy_bites. In the 55-Minute Midday??Mindset with Dr. Heath, attendees immersed themselves in insightful discussions on self-narratives, brain mechanics, and fostering positive mindsets. Dr. Heath’s expertise in NeuroPsych and Forensic Psychology offered valuable tools for reshaping thought patterns and enhancing mental resilience. Participants learned about neuroplasticity, reframing narratives, and neurocoupling, gaining practical strategies to overcome limitations and cultivate growth mindsets. The session highlighted the essential role of self-awareness in behavior change and emphasized the importance of challenging negative thought patterns for improved mental health.
For more spaces, visit the Lifestyle page.
For stats visit the Live report
Questions
Q: How do self-narratives influence mental health?
A: Self-stories can deeply impact emotions, behaviors, and mental well-being.
Q: What is the significance of neuroplasticity in mindset shifts?
A: Neuroplasticity allows the brain to rewire itself, enabling changes in thought patterns.
Q: How can reframing narratives improve resilience?
A: Changing perspectives on personal narratives can enhance mental toughness and adaptability.
Q: Why is neurocoupling essential for effective communication?
A: Understanding neurocoupling aids in building stronger connections and empathy in relationships.
Q: How do self-limiting beliefs hinder personal growth?
A: Limiting beliefs can restrict potential and hinder progress towards goals and self-improvement.
Q: What tools can be used to foster a growth mindset?
A: Strategies like positive affirmations, visualization, and cognitive restructuring can promote a growth-oriented mindset.
Q: In what ways can neuroscience principles enhance cognitive functions?
A: Applying neuroscience insights can optimize cognitive abilities, memory, and learning processes.
Q: How does self-awareness contribute to behavior change?
A: Being self-aware allows individuals to recognize harmful patterns and make conscious choices for personal development.
Q: Why is challenging negative thought patterns crucial for mental health?
A: Combatting negative thoughts is vital for mental well-being and overall psychological health.
Q: Can personal narratives be altered to promote positivity?
A: Reconstructing self-stories with a positive focus can boost resilience and emotional well-being.
Highlights
Time: 00:07:25
Neuroplasticity and Mindset Transformation Exploring how brain plasticity influences the ability to change thought patterns.
Time: 00:15:42
Positive Reframing for Resilience Discussing techniques to reframe narratives for increased mental toughness.
Time: 00:23:18
Neurocoupling in Relationships Understanding the neural connection in interpersonal dynamics.
Time: 00:31:55
Growth Mindset Strategies Tips for fostering a growth-oriented mindset for personal evolution.
Time: 00:39:40
Neuroscience for Cognitive Enhancement Utilizing neuroscience concepts to optimize cognitive functions.
Time: 00:48:11
Self-Reflection and Behavior Change The role of self-awareness in modifying behaviors and habits.
Time: 00:52:02
Overcoming Limiting Beliefs Tools to challenge and overcome self-imposed limitations.
Time: 00:55:15
Positivity and Self-Narratives Exploring the impact of positive self-stories on mental well-being.
Key Takeaways
- Understanding the impact of self-stories on mental health and well-being.
- Exploring the connection between neuroscience and personal belief systems.
- Tools for rewiring negative thought patterns and fostering a positive mindset.
- The importance of self-awareness in shaping behaviors and perceptions.
- Techniques for overcoming self-limiting beliefs and embracing growth.
- Discussing the role of neuroplasticity in transforming thought processes.
- Exploring the power of reframing narratives for improved mental resilience.
- Embracing the concept of neurocoupling in relationships and communication.
- Applying neuroscientific principles to enhance overall cognitive functions.
- Strategies for cultivating a growth mindset for personal development.
Behind the Mic
Introduction to Midday Mindset
Welcome to Midday Mindset. Gosh, I don’t know if you guys are hearing the music, but it kind of dawns on me that during October we should be able to choose spooky music. Not the same old elevator music, but maybe Thanksgiving music, but I’m not really sure what Thanksgiving music would be Christmas music in December. So thank you guys for being here. Welcome back, Ron. Ron has had some account kerfuffles, but he has, he knows people. He knows hype people, big people. So maybe he can share his people with this. No, I don’t know. But he can tell us the spooky stories of kerfuffles on x and how he got those taken care of later on today. But just to kind of preview what we’re going to be doing, spooky stories we tell ourselves that can make or break our lives.
Cognitive Schemas and Personal Reflections
And the word for those in my field is schema. We all have schemas, storylines that we tell ourselves. I’m going to be hearing some of the cognitive science on that. But what I’d like to hear from you guys, let’s get real. You know, what are some of the thoughts that you allow yourself to give too much credibility to that have sabotaged you? What are the thoughts that you tell yourself? And again, this is what it means to be genuine, to be real, that you’ll admit really sabotage you. And so here’s what I’m going to do. About a quarter after the hour, I’m going to share some of mine and then at the bottom of the hour, I’m going to share some of the, as I said, cognitive neuroscience of that. And take a lot of hands, I hope. Love to have the stage full of speakers. Here’s my deal. On speakers, you can request the mic and you don’t have to speak until your ready.
Fear and Halloween Preparations
So we’re not going to embarrass you by calling on you before you put your hand up. So fear not. Or go ahead and have fear. I mean, it’s the month for it. In it, I have all kinds of fun with fear during spooky season. Hope you will, too. Got all the Halloween decorations up yesterday. It only took five and a half hours. I think it was a record. Last year. I kind of broke it down into three days. But we did Saturday putting up the inside decorations and then yesterday, and it was really hot yesterday. It was like 95 degrees or something in October, which is really weird. And so I’ll try to take a video of that and share with you guys on Freaky Friday and we’ll share some more spooky tales. I’ve got a few of my own, but I’ll share one today. So welcome back, Ron. Good to have you again.
Challenges with Social Media Accounts
Glad you got things worked out. Lots of people are losing their account. You know, I know of a guy that had a couple hundred thousand followers that lost his account, a couple of them, actually. And so, yeah, you guys be careful with your accounts. Let’s go to TMR, get his thoughts on today, then we’ll go to Ron. Yes. Welcome back, Ron. Glad to see a friendly face here and my fellow co host. But today this topic is really fun. So the one for me, the story that I would always tell myself, and this is one that started way before TMR, but has trickled into even, you know, my TMR era, I guess you could call it, was the idea that I don’t have anything worth sharing or my efforts have no value outside of myself.
Personal Stories of Self-Worth
Or people might note, want to give attention, give time to the things that I could provide, whether it’s an idea, a product, a service, or just even a conversation, I used to tell myself, nah, they don’t want to hear that or no, they won’t give value to that. And that’s something that I’d often reiterate to myself in certain situations. But that’s, you know, that’s one bad habit or habitual thinking that I have continuously been scraping from all existence. And I’m just going for it, just doing what I’m doing. If people want to come along for the ride, they can come for it. If not, they can catch the next bus. So that’s mine. I love it. Great. Yeah, yeah.
Insights on Cognitive Responses
See, see the, what TMR shared with you guys, I want to make sure that we kind of put a underline and highlight and bold print. This is the brain’s first response to anything new is to talk you out of it. Now, the presence of your brain talking you out of something doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. It’s just simply the brain doing its job. And I’m kind of hinting at one of my all time favorite cognitive schemas that I’ll fall prey to. I’ll get to here in about six or seven minutes after we hear from some other people. But just know that your brain is doing its job by talking you out of it. This morning, before I did my five k, as every single time I do my five k, I mean, it never, never fails that my brain launches excuses and tries to make up things.
The Nature of Fear and Avoidance
So I’m going to say this and I’m going to explain it, because I know it’s going to catch a lot of people by surprise. And you’re going to doubt it, as you should, because why? Your brain says no to things to protect you for safety. But that doesn’t mean that it should be a firm no. It should be a no that turns into a maybe. And then you launch some of these other cognitive frameworks that we talk about so frequently, and that is, never trust your thoughts. They make everything up. My son came home from school one day, or, and told me about something he’d seen that I actually got in the t shirt for Christmas. It’s really cool. It says, never trust an atom.
Perceptions of Reality and Thought Processes
Atom. They make everything up. You get it? Isn’t that cool? I mean, atoms do make everything up, literally. But thoughts make up your reality. So never trust your thoughts. They make everything up. And that’s going to lead into my spooky story here in about seven or eight minutes. I’ll share with you guys that happened just last night. Oh, my gosh. I was so creeped out, I literally had chills running down my back. It was just almost terrifying. And I’ll share that with you here in a few minutes. let’s go to Ron. Ron, share some of your thoughts and gosh, you’ve got all kinds of spooky tales about, kerfuffles have been kicked around and kicked off of x and all that kind of stuff.
Gratitude and Personal Reflections
That’s right. I appreciate being here. Thank you, TMR, for that nice introduction. And of course, doctor Heath, it’s great to be here. like I said before, when I had to use my alternative account, I never felt at home. So that was the reason for mostly for my absence. I am very grateful, of course, for the amazing pull I have with this platform to get me reinstated. And it only takes a certain wording to get past the AI eyes, the eyes of AI into human eyes that will reinstate you. But I wanted to say that first of all, Doctor Heath, I’m so pleased that you enjoy Halloween as much as I do. And I should have known that you do. It’s a great holiday, and the whole month is Halloween for me, and it’s orange and black.
Reflecting on Self-Perception
You know, the colors. I wanted to say for me, this, one of the stories I’ve, and I’ve grown out of this, but especially when I was younger, was I felt I underestimated the degree of my appealing nature to other people that people, I could be around people and they would actually like me or want to talk with me, almost a little bit of like what TMR spoke about. And I think that’s common mostly for younger people because when you’re younger, you’re so unsure about your own speech. And so I think that’s what was one of the stories I used to tell myself. But thank you, Doctor Heath, for this wonderful welcome back and I appreciate it and looking forward to this hour.
The Nature of Subconscious Operations
Hey, thank you. And guys, I’m off screen for the moment, sharing out to some communities. So if there’s a hand up, go ahead and welcome them to the stage. If you guys have a. I’m calling these spooky tales because they are what? The way that our lives are operated from the subconscious up. And most of what we do originates in the realm of the subconscious. Imagine how irritating it would be to have to actually be aware of every single thought. You think I need to scratch my nose? It’ll be some magnanimous task or something and have to say, what is that sensation? Oh, it’s an itch.
The Subconscious and Halloween
Where is it? It’s on the right side of my nose, toward the lower side of it. Which hand is most available? Oh, I have something in my right hand. I’m going to have to use my left hand. Which finger? My left hand might be the best finger to use while my index finger is sore. I’ll have to use my middle finger. Where should I put. And so it would take 30 minutes to scratch your nose. And so the brain sublimates so many things for ease of use, and that’s a really good thing until it becomes a bad thing. And so a schema is a subconscious algorithm about how to handle different situations.
Schemas and Cognitive Processing
And this is where I love, you know, the thing about Halloween comes in because the whole ability to experience terror, fear, chills up your spine, originate from those cognitive schemas. But what we’re going to talk about are which ones of those spooky tails make, have the power to make or break your life. And so if you have a spooky tail, go ahead and come on up and share that. And again, Ron and TMR, if you see a hand up, just go ahead and welcome on them on up here. And we would love to hear from everybody today. I’m looking forward to your spooky tales.
The Influence of Subconscious Thoughts
Oh, yeah, there’s mentalism. Yeah. Good to see you back. Mentalism HQ. Hey, the mic is yours. Hey, thanks for having me on. I just, you know, it’s sort of relating to what you’re talking about. Like how we create a schema to like take or automate some of the thoughts in our mind. Like you don’t want to focus on like this and that endlessly and take like 20 minutes to do a single thing. And so, like that’s part of what, like creating the schema is all about by the sounds of it. Like the way you described it, like part of that for me so that I can actually focus on my day to day living is like allowing the thought process to run in the background that like everyone or not everyone, but like a large amount of people are actually doing things behind my back.
Awareness and Personal Boundaries
You know, like an above average number of people, I should say, like not necessarily even a huge number of people, but an above number, above average number of people are doing things behind my back that are adjusting the quality of my life day to day. And if I don’t have that as an internal focus somewhere in the background, I can’t actually focus on the rest of my day properly. And so it seems like a type of schizophrenia. But, you know, realistically, like I’ve seen evidence of it, like with my family life and the people that call themselves my friends and things like that. Like I’m in a position where like it’s much too easy for me to be, you know, exploited, so to speak. And so, like, I need to be relatively aware of that all the time.
Experiences of Exploitation
And so that’s sort of my schema. Well, so when you say that you have to be aware of that, what would happen if you’re not hyper focused on it? Well, like I said, it puts me like at a higher risk of exploitation. Like I’ve had like somebody who called themselves my friend. Like pretty much drained my credit cardinal because I trusted him to pay me back and he was making payments back to me but only enough that I could trust him. And then like he just disappeared into the blue and like, I never saw him again. And like, you know, like even my family like offered to help me with money for like about an eight month period.
Trust and Relationship Dynamics
And then like about three months into it once, like I had already signed the contract with the thing that we had agreed on and stuff like that. Then, like, they just like dropped right out of it and like, we’re not giving you another dime. And like, so like, I’ve ended up in a lot of debt because of like trusting people, like especially financially and you know, like even like on a moral or spiritual level. Like, I feel like I’ve been backed into a lot of corners as well. Like. Like, with people, you know, like. Like having to witness or I, you know, like, defend or.
Navigating Difficult Situations
Or, you know, rebuke different types of violence like that I. That I’ve witnessed. And, you know, like, just, you know, I’m always put between a rock and a hard place with. With all these people. And, like, it’s because there’s stuff going on in the background that they’re not telling me about. Yeah, yeah. I mean, when it comes to financial things that can, you know, of course, literally be a danger to us. Therefore, there’s the case for secure passwords, secure locations for credit cards and credit card numbers, keeping things kind of the download, not letting everyone know your business.
The Importance of Trustworthy Relationships
It’s. There’s some people that you can let in your inner circle, and. But that should be a pretty high bar. And then there’s some people that need to be kept an arm’s length, so. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I completely agree. Well, just real quick, before we go to Lady Wings and Jackie, let me ask, you know, the rest of the room, because some of the people are new here. Have you ever been haunted by your thoughts? So what if, you know, these thoughts that haunt you are a bit like a ghost, but it’s really, as we started out, your own spooky ghost tale.
The Nature of Cognitive Schemas
Cognitive schemas that are messing with your mind. And so these are mental frameworks that literally make silly putty out of reality out there. They really shape our perception, and they do act like cognitive ghosts that really influence our reactions. And they all. And they happen off camera as we’re talking about below the level of our cognitive awareness. And so they. They help us organize, they help us interpret information. We start forming these in early childhood. So they’re based in early life experiences. And some of those conclusions from childhood are accurate. Some of those are not.
Childhood Conclusions and Misconceptions
Some of those are over assimilations. Here’s one. I’ve had patients that say, you just can’t trust people with facial hair. I’m not making that up.
Understanding Over-Sensitivity
why? Because, you know, their abuser had a big, fluffy beard or something, you know, or you just can’t trust people with tattoos. Why? Because that’s over assimilation. They’ve had a poor experience with somebody that had tattoos, and sometimes our radars can become over sensitive. And this is what happened to me last night. It was really creepy, but really, in a way, kind of fun. I actually did lose some sleep over it because I really leaned into it. But what we’re going to talk about is how these ghost stories in our minds really shape how we see the world. You know, your brain is like a spooky old house, and schemas are the cobwebs that you don’t always see, but they’re really everywhere. And we’ll always have those.
Navigating Conversations
Let’s go to lady Wings and then Jackie, and then back to mentalism hq. Lady Wings, it’s good to have you here today. Nothing but love and respect. And I am seriously trying to avoid a major pts meltdown. And I was hearing what the gentleman was talking about, and I just learned a little something about people talking behind people’s back and how maybe we should handle it if people are talking behind your back. First of all, they’re behind you for a reason. Second of all, and I mean this very much ladylike, but from the heart, if they don’t wipe your butt, don’t let them sweat you. And you’re better than that. Besides, if you have haters, baby, you must be doing something righteous, because Satan does not pay attention to somebody who ain’t doing something great. Just saying. And thank you for helping me avoid my PTSD meltdown, because that hurts.
Personal Reflections and Celebrations
And it’s no fun by myself on my birthday. But you guys are here and I’m doing better. Look at me all in a minute. This is your birthday. Lady wings for 1801. huh. Wow. Happy birthday. What a cool month to have a birthday in. You can have, like, a pumpkin cake and everything. That’s amazing. Eat the whole darn thing. Oh, my goodness. But it’s good. Well, you know, I’m having to do extra cardio this month because I have. I have a. I have a big bucket of evil sitting on my countertop. Otherwise known as place size. What’s. What’s the fun size? Fun size Halloween candy bars. Yeah. My little confession.
Memory and Caution
Those are the little tiny ones. You need, like, 25 of them instead of just one big one. Man, I’m just getting started at 25. No, I’m kidding. Thank you, lady Wings. Let’s go to Jackie. Jackie, take it away. Hey, everyone. Happy birthday, lady Wings. Thank you. I want to say, doctor Heath, I think thoughts can be haunting, and I want to share a story that has pretty much shaped my life. I was in. I don’t know, I was probably in puberty. I was probably around twelve or so, 13, and my friend was over and we wanted to walk to the movies because we moved to the city and we could kind of walk.
Impacts of Words
And my mom had told me no. And of course, I was mad. Stomping around, acting like a typical teenager that was told no, but I said that I hope she falls down the stairs to my friend that was there, and she fell down the stairs. And ever since then, I am very cautious about things that I wish, because that was like, a really. Because I actually love my mother. I would never actually want harm to come to my mother. But that was something, because after I said it and after that happened, I and my friend. And it’s one of those things, or something like that happens, you’re gonna. Which she wasn’t hurt, thank goodness. That was, like, a haunting memory, and it still is, because I still am cautious.
Understanding Consequences
My stepbrother, he. When he would have to mow the grass, he would get angry that he would have to mow the grass, and he would say, I’m never mowing the grass again. And he ended up being in a car accident and was paralyzed from the waist down, so he never had to mow the grass again. So I try to be very conscious about what I do say, because sometimes you. When you do say things loud, they do. I mean, and then the feeling that you get the haunting feeling of that is just really kind of wild, but, yeah, I believe so. And I’m gonna land there. Thank you for the mic.
Exploring Cognitive Schemas
Oh, thank you, Jackie. Yeah, yeah. So. So that’s. That’s the. I don’t know. I guess you could say the cost or the punishment is there’s. Our brain scheme has worked via what you’ve heard me talk about, a Hebbian learning system. Donald Hebb was the neuroscientist from. Gosh, where was he? McGill, a McGill university up in Canada. That can’t. That. That came up with this matters. What. What fires together. Wires together. So if you say, I wish this would happen to somebody, and then coincidentally, that thing happens, then we begin to connect.
The Nature of Thoughts
Cause and effect. And we can come to believe that we cause something. And even though one thought structure reminds us that, no, we don’t have the power of telekinesis, another thought structure will still hold us responsible and create self directed disgust. And then over time, our brain really solidifies these patterns, making it easier to think of the situation through that algorithm. And it really is very punishing. And so, if, you know, again, if our brains are kind of like a haunted mansion, and they really are, because, you know, lacking dementia or a head injury, we have to live with all those haunting memories.
Self-Punishment
And if we aren’t careful to clean out those creepy cognitive cobwebs, then they start to control your every move, and we can be no one can punish us better and deeper than we can punish ourselves. And I punish myself with my own thinking. And so I remind myself, nope, been there, done that. You know, you. You thought that before. Let’s get on top of that. I’m gonna here in about 30 minutes, wind up with. With how we. How we can change some of those. Some of those patterns. And let me go ahead and shoot.
Cognitive Awareness
Actually, let me go ahead and go to another hand, and then I’ll share my little creepy story with you. I think it. Help me out here. Was it mentalism? Hq mentalism? Yeah. You know, I wanted touch on your ideas about the schema again. And, you know, the. The idea about, like, relating it to haunting type memories. Like, that’s a. That’s a good way of putting, like, theme of what you’re talking about as well. But, you know, it seems that, you know, even something like religious thoughts, like, you know, if you honestly believe that there’s a God telling you, like, good advice and there’s this devil telling you bad advice, and, you know, there’s, like, angels and demons and, like.
Existential Communication
Or even, like, Buddha or Krishna or, like, whatever Scientology believes, like, in, like, their type of communication, like, that type of thing seems like the type of schema that you’re talking about, like, where. Like, it. And where it could be kind of, like, this haunting type reality, like, because, like, I I don’t feel that way anymore, but I’ve been that way in the past, you know, where, like, I. Like, I felt honestly like there was, at the very least, a simulation inside my. My brain or inside my mind that was active, that, like, at the very least, resembled communication with God.
Judgment and Release
And to me, it was kind of like my dark passenger. I felt like, you know, like, constantly being there, like, ready to kind of, like, pounce in terms of judgment, like, on what I’m doing or whatever. And, you know, like, when I let go of that, then, you know, I was able to still use my moral judgment, which is sort of what I was, like, afraid of. I was afraid of being impaired of my moral judgment if I let go of that, you know, goddess simulation type of thing. So, like, that. That’s.
The Dark Passenger Concept
That’s kind of something that I feel like can haunt somebody in way, like the schema that you’re mentioning. Yeah, we all have those. Yeah. Jeff Lindsay made that term popular. Dark passenger. He’s the creepy rider of Dexter. Of course, everybody’s favorite serial killer other than Hannibal Lecter, but he borrowed it from Yoon. And Yoon talked about, you know, kind of a dark passenger. And it. I would say that is, is equivalent to the ego and in particular, a unhealthy ego. Ego can be healthy or unhealthy.
Addressing Religious Trauma
And so. Yeah, great points. Let’s go to our co host, noble, and then to the next speaker in line. Yes, thank you, Doctor Heath. I just wanted to say, respond to mentalism that. I mean, I identify as a Christian, but I’ve had to deal with religious trauma and the fears that can be, that are entailed with you believe in the christian faith, so I have to battle with that too. Also, I just wanted to say happy birthday to lady wings. May you be blessed with the understanding of the significance of your existence and importance in the lives of others. Cheers.
Invitation for Growth
And I know the next is growth and resilience. And then Donica. Growth, resilience. Take it away. Can you. First of all, can you guys hear me? I can. You sound wonderful. Oh, that’s amazing because I’m literally tuned. In on my laptop right now. So Twitter x, whatever. Fix this. Okay. No, I’m just trying to get the. Feel of the conversation. So first off, happy birthday, lady wings. It’s been a while since we spoke, and just gonna keep it brief.
ASafety in Thoughts
I’m just getting the feel of this. Conversation here and just wanted to say. Hi, I guess stories we tell ourselves, that’s what the title is. Okay, I’m just gonna keep listening and just saying hi. Just getting a feel. Well, hello. Yeah, yeah, that’s. And that’s a great time for me to update what we’re talking about. We’re talking about cognitive schemas. And cognitive schemas are like ghost stories in the haunted house inside the vault of our skull. And we all have those.
The Burden of Schemas
And some are pretty, you know, scary, and some not so scary. Here’s a cognitive schema. Every time I watch tv, I must have a piece of Halloween candy. Now, that sounds pretty simple, but we set that up. Every time someone disagrees with me, I must disagree back. Every time I get in an argument to somebody, I must have the last word. So schemas literally are all over the place. And the quote, I want to leave with you guys today. I mean, not that we’re leaving right now.
Trusting Thoughts
We will leave here in about 26, 25 minutes. Now we’ll do a mindfulness meditation because I got an appointment at the top of the hour, is never trust your thoughts. They make everything up. Now, what am I talking about? What I’m really talking about is falsification. Now, that is one of the most wonderful words that you could come across and make your own because it’ll save you so much pain and suffering in all kinds of relationships is consider that thoughts are there not to be embraced, but to be evaluated. Just because you have a thought, just because the ghost of a thought flits through your mind, does it mean that it’s accurate?
Evaluating Thoughts
Does it mean that it’s realistic? It could just be haunting your mind. So here’s my story that I promised I would tell you guys. I suspend disbelief from this very concrete, therapist based mindset for 30 to 31 days every year.
Belief in the Supernatural
And I believe in ghosts and goblins and Slenderman and UFO’s and you know, trolls in the closet and creepy things under my bed and everything. And I am really good at suspending my disbelief. And so last night, my wife had to be at her dad’s house, so I was home alone. I’m so much better if she’s here to protect me from all those ghouls and goblins. But she wasn’t. She had to spend the night at her dad’s house. And so I’m fine during the daytime. And. And again, I have suspended disbelief because I could go the other way very easily. But it’s more fun to give myself 30 days of spooky month to do this kind of thing. And some of the weirdest things started happening since I had suspended my falsification mechanism.
An Eerie Experience
I’m in the shower after being all sweaty from putting up all the spooky Halloween stuff, which I said took me about 5 hours or so, have lots of Halloween stuff. And I get out of the shower and I see a moving shadow through two doorways, across the little chrome ring of my dryer. Now how could that happen? How could there be movement when it’s not picking up me and it’s in the dry room and it’s not my puppy dog, scruffy. Where did the movement come from? And then I am laying in bed and watching the glow through the doorway of some lights that are on in my living room. And I notice a shadow that kind of grows and glows and then it kind of fades away. And so I’m awake at that point. I’m even wider awake and I’m hyper focused on the doorway.
Heightened Awareness
And the more I focus on the doorway, the more I see shadows and things moving around. And I hear noises and squeaks and eeks and just different weird sounds in the bedroom. And I lay there until I get so tired I finally have to pass out. But what I’m thinking as I pass out is one more thing, and that is my dog scruffy. Alerted, he paid attention. He. He became hyper focused on the doorway to the bedroom. So I’m thinking, wow, what does he see? He can see more of the electromagnetic spectrum than I can. He can see movement better than I can. I thought I saw something, but what did he see? And finally, I get so tired.
The Blend of Reality and Dream
I go to sleep, and I have all kinds of weird dreams and everything. Now I can go back and debunk every single one of those. I will say that I went through every room of the house and looked under every bed, I looked in every closet, I looked behind every poofy drapery that somebody could be hiding behind. I looked in the attic, I looked behind couches just to make sure, you know. Cause I’d rather be wake when you come to get me than sound asleep, you know? And by the way, I had just watched this thing earlier the day in the day when I took my lunch break from Halloween decorating of a 20 year old unsolved mysteries case where a mother claimed that people broke into her house and stabbed her children to death.
Fear and Precautions
Now, her children were stabbed to death, and they convicted her of it. But I’m watching that. I’m thinking, holy crap, I don’t want to be broken into and stabbed to death in the middle of the night. Even though every door is locked, even though I’ve cleared the house, copiously cleared the house, and even though I have a high tech burglar alarm system, how can anybody possibly get in? Well, I tell you how they could get in. I was out back decorating, and for hours had one of my doors unlocked? So is it possible that someone snuck across my property, climbed through my fence, surreptitiously entered my house, and they’ve been hiding under the dining room table ever since?
Mind’s Schema and Reality
And so, yes, your brain can create schemas on the fly, and they can be very sabotaging. Now, let me just say, as spooky and creepy as that was, I quite enjoyed it, and it was worth it to me. The loss of sleep and the willies and the chills up my spine. It just kind of makes the month for me. And I’ll have many more of those. I will say I hesitate to watch spooky movies when I know my wife is going to be gone, because, you know, she’s my first line of defense.
Discussion on Relationships
Let’s go the next hand in line here, and we’ll talk more about the psychology stuff in a minute. Was it Donna Donica? Thank you, Donica. For being so patient. The mic is yours. Why, thank you. I had a thing to mention that was brought up before, and we’re straight a little bit away from it, so I hope you don’t mind, but I noticed that this conversation kind of turned into a direction for a while about abusive relationships. And I think I know the reason why.
Reflections from Personal Experience
I was in a not so good relationship back in 2016. And we fall into these relationships for a number of reasons, but the reason why we get trapped into them ends up being widely the same, and that’s because our thought process turn into what we can be for them instead of what we can be for ourselves. So, two ways that I experienced this is one was he kept telling me, you need to fix me. You need to make me better. And so I started thinking, well, if I can just make him better, things will be okay.
Setting Boundaries
And then he would tell me, you know, he would threaten me and all those kinds of things, and I would tell myself, well, he did that before, so that can’t be my boundary anymore, because I let it go that time. So you just keep getting lost into those kinds of thought processes. And I think that’s a big part of the conversation, and I think that the way to break out of that is to take a step back for yourself and figure out what you are okay with allowing and how much tolerance you have for that thing. And as soon as they step over that boundary, that’s when you have to recognize for yourself.
Personal Growth
I’m doing this for me now because this is what I set up for myself. And now I have to go. Danica, wonderful point. And, you know, it’s really, I think, essential at this point to realize how other people’s schemas can be adapted as our own. one of the things I get into, from a professional standpoint, are people using drugs, either losing their job or being suspended. And I kid you not, this sounds crazy, I know, but. But these people that will then come to me, and it then becomes my fault that they’re out of work.
Responsibility and Ownership
It becomes my fault that they’re losing out on their. On their pay. And people will develop schemas that it’s every. That their inaccurate thinking, their unhealthy lifestyle, their dysfunction is someone else’s fault, and that is just their schema. And I’ve met people that have had begun that in childhood, that parents make it their fault, that school teachers make it their fault, and no one lets that kid fail. No one lets that kid see that.
Taking Agency
Look, you are in charge of your life. I am hereby going to give yourself back to you so that you begin taking responsibility for your life. And they do. They grow up to be, you know, young men and women and middle aged men and women and old men and women blaming every dysfunction they have on other people. And. And there are folks out there, and I think we all can do this, because I will ask myself, okay, am I doing everything I need to be doing?
Self-Reflection
Am I being the healthy person here? And I think that’s. We have to develop our own schemas for addressing other people’s schemas. Danica, thank you so much. Let’s go to. I don’t see other. Any other hands up, but Josh right now. It was Linda. Oh, Linda was first. Linda, go ahead. Hi, Doctor Heath, TMR. And thanks, Ron. I understand spaces can be buggy, but anyways, and that was a lot.
The Nature of Narrative
It’s funny because I was listening to a podcast this morning, and the speaker was essentially talking about how when you get into an argument with your significant other, for example, a lot of the times we start talking about our memories as if it was the truth. And oftentimes these are all just narratives. It’s just what we perceive of the argument, that perceive of the situation. But we get so hung up on the logistics of the narrative truth that we fail to see what is actually important, which is pretty much the actual feelings that we felt because of these narratives that we told ourselves.
Balancing Perspectives
So, that being said, I believe that it’s important for us to, well, one, acknowledge that these are just narratives and that the other person also has their own narrative. But it’s also to balance out our perspectives to the stories that we tell ourselves, which I actually want to bring it up to what Doctor Heath talks about. It’s underthinking, because we are so focused on that narrative that we talk about that we are not expanding our perspectives. And, like, I just wanted to bring up an example.
Personal Experience with Self-Perception
Like, I grew up, I was told to stay humble. Well, I took it to the extreme, and I genuinely hated myself. And I had such low self esteem because I was supposed to stay humble. But then I later on grew to better at that, to combat that with more. I’m definitely more confident now. But I also see kids nowadays, because all of the. There’s a lot of, well, loose parenting nowadays, that and coddling that.
The Importance of Perspective
A lot of kids nowadays, they are taught to believe that they deserve better. And I feel like that is a little bit too much of an overconfidence, which is kind of opposite of what I went through. So I do believe that it’s important for people in general to learn how to look at the other side of the perspective, to, well, not tunnel vision or under think, but to expand your perspective. Take a look at the situation, your perspective, from a different lens, to kind of balance out what the narrative truth or whatever your truth that you are living in, your perspective is.
Importance of Humility
Linda, beautifully said. Beautifully said. I’m actually watching a great series called Three Pines, and one of my favorite actors on there, whose name escapes me at the moment, said that on the back of your hand, I would say the finger that you use to point at other people on the back, your pointy finger, you should have tattooed the words, I might be wrong. Tattoo on the back here, pointing finger, I might be wrong.
Engaging Discussion
So we have three other speakers up right now, so we’re going to go to. Oh, our co host, noble. Go ahead first. Thank you, Josh. I know Josh is next. Doctor Heath, I just wanted to say, similar to those drug addicts, since I’ve met you, I blame everything that’s wrong in my life on you. Just joking, of course, but I didn’t want to say. It depends on the day of the week.
Addressing Memory and Narratives
I think. I think today is Josh’s day. Everything that goes wrong, today’s Josh’s. Exactly. But I also wanted to say Linda Washington, precise, she made a great point of how memories, the stories we tell sometimes are, of course, for memories, and sometimes those memories are wrong. And there, that has happened a few times in my life, but I noticed that it was to protect myself, but I was completely wrong in my memory. So it was a great point, Linda.
Path to Understanding
Thank you. Josh, take it away. I think it’s your turn. What’s up, everybody? I wasn’t sure if I saw Rob’s hand up. He was in here way before me. If Rob still wants to share, I don’t see his hand up, but he was in here way before me. So, Rob, if you’d like, I can yield, otherwise I can go see. I don’t even see Rob’s hand up or Rob take it away.
Navigating Conversations
Oh, yeah. I appreciate that. You know, sometimes I take my hand down because I start thinking about what I’m going to say and I stop listening, so it distracts me. But I appreciate that. This is one of my favorite topics. I absolutely love the idea of narrative and cognition here. Just one thing I wanted to share, and I’m not sure if you were going to get into the psychology, but more of this.
Insights from Workshops
Doctor Heath, I think you were. I went to a great workshop several years ago called crucial conversations. I’m not sure if you know those guys, but they have this very interesting and powerful part of their presentation called Clever stories. And, you know, these kind of clever stories that we tell ourselves, you know, victim narratives and powerless narratives and villain narratives, and they do this wonderful breakdown.
Understanding Our Narratives
So I just wanted to share that. And if anybody’s interested in learning more, you check it out. I’m not affiliated, but it just. It was super helpful for understanding the kinds of myths that I tell myself and I spot in conversations with others. So, yeah, I’m a bit familiar. And you’re right. Crucial conversations. Great, great work. And we’re gonna have to start wrapping it up, guys.
Final Thoughts
I’ve got a few more points to get through, but let’s see who is next. Josh. Josh, take away. Well, I’m glad I yielded, Rob, and thank you for the share. Hello, everybody. What’s up, Doctor Heath? What’s up, Tmr. Noble? It’s good to see you, my friend, and everybody else on this beautiful stage. But I really didn’t have, like, anything, like, significant to comment on other than just saying hello as well.
Engaging with Scary Movies
But Doctor Heath, I loved your shared story of your experience while the wife, he was gone. It was great. You know me, I like my scary movies. Me and Christina just watched the original poltergeist the other night, 1992 or 1982. And yeah, we watched it that night. And of course, what’s the first thing that Josh does? I go upstairs, I’ve got my tv. I got. I got a tv in our bedroom, but it’s just at night, generally just my.
Reflections on Fear and Nostalgia
My security cameras, so I got like eight cameras, and I have it on all the time. It’s a passive system, so. But it’s just always on screen. And I. After watching Poltergeist, I was like, do I turn the tv off tonight? Is Carol Ann going to be in there? And then I started looking at my closet. My closet door was open. I’m like, oh, my goodness, I got to shut my closet door because there might be a crazy clown in there and some deep, like, spiritual realm that I don’t want to see.
Childhood Fears
But I remember my fondest memories of watching that for the first time when I was a kid. I had this dead oak tree in our front yard. And every time I watch that movie and there’s a thunderstorm that comes through, I have to close the blinds because I’m afraid that tree is going to come screaming through my front window and, like, grab me and suck me in. But I love my thought process and experiencing those things.
Enjoyment in Scary Movies
That’s why I like watching scary movies. So you can touch my soul and you can touch my brain. That’s why I like watching them.
Personal Experiences and Reflections
The arms raised on my. Or the hair on my arms raised, I love doing that. But then I lay in bed like the other night, like, should I turn the tv off? It’s great. I love it. So anyways, I just wanted to say hello, and that’s my quick little share. Well, thank you, Josh. And that’s a great point, that the way the brain is structured, the more you look for a certain thing, the more you’re going to see things in that category. And so the more I look for shadows, last night, home alone, the more shadows I saw when I close my eyes and stop looking for shadows, I stopped seeing, you know, I mean, my brain just stopped expecting it. And so that’s one of the things that we need to do in our little witches brew of rewiring how our brains work and how our brains weave and spin cognitive schemas it sabotages is repetition, repetition.
Cognitive Rewiring
So repeat new balanced thoughts to yourself. And doing that is a bit like casting a spell on your brain. So the more you practice, the stronger those neuronal connections become. And you can use affirmations to reinforce those new cognitive schemas. Like, I’m capable of overcoming challenges instead of I’m always failing, or I can set boundaries and I can protect myself rather than people are always talking behind my back, which, what are you going to do about that? Call the talking behind your back police? It’s really the serenity prayer. You know, focus on what you could do things about. People are always sabotaging me. Well, where’s your power line? Where can you know, protect yourself from people taking advantage of you? Sometimes it is stopping and thinking before saying yes.
Establishing Boundaries
Sometimes it’s saying, you know, I don’t know about that. Let me think about it. Hey, can I borrow your tractor? Hey, can I borrow your car? Hey, can I borrow some money? And I just say to people, you know, man, I’m very sorry. I just, I’ve got bills to pay with my money. I wish I could. I’ve always wanted to be a bank. I hadn’t made it yet. I just owe all the other banks. And so it’s repetition of the proper things. So if you repeat something often enough, you can literally cast a mental protection spell against sabotaging thinking. But be very careful. You can also cast a mentally sabotaging spell that really messes up your life. We have a couple minutes. We have two hands, so let’s go ahead and go to.
Exploring Mentalism
Was it pain waves? Pain waves. And then Dan, go ahead. Actually, it’s the three hands. It’s mentalism. And then Dhanika, and then pain waves. Mentalism. Danica and pain waves. Okay, who was first? Mentalism. Mentalism. Mentalism. Go ahead. Yeah. I just had kind of a question. it with, the stories we tell ourselves, you know, as a mental thought process, is it sort of like having cards, like playing cards in a priority sequence, and then, you know, the story we tell ourselves is sort of like when we drop that deck of cards and we’re trying to read those cards as they’re falling, sort of like. And the question associated with that, like, visualization would be like, would it better to let the cards fall where they may before we sort them out, rather than, like, reading them as they’re falling?
Choosing the Right Thoughts
Well, if I get your analogy there, I would say it’s a card game where we get to choose which cards to play, if the cards are thoughts or thought processes. I’m going to ask myself, of all the cards, all the thoughts that I am aware of, which thought is a best fit for this situation. And the first card that captures your attention is often not the best one to play in this hand. Or if you’re looking at a mental stew, you know, double drubble toll and trouble cauldron. Well, I forget the rest. Shakespeare. But it’s. Which is the best ingredient as a thought for this situation or the best thought card for this situation. And the first card that captures your awareness or that you’re aware of is not the best one. So when I looked at the shadow through my glimly lit doorway and thought it was some person or entity that doesn’t serve me best, I reminded myself in that moment, hey, your eye does this.
Neurobiological Insights
This. Your eyes are literally made to pick up movement because that’s protective, to pick up shadow because that’s safety. To pick up changes in a pattern in a room, like a stray sound. What does that bump? Because that is safety. But just because it picks that up doesn’t mean it requires all of your attention or doesn’t mean that you are unsafe. So it’s really when you’re stirring this, this bubbling cauldron of toil and trouble, consider this, my teaspoon analogy. Use the cognitive teaspoon. TSP, thought selection process. TSP, thought selection process. I laid there last night, and I got to choose which thoughts to focus on. And so, finally, since I’ve got to sleep, I reminded myself how much fun this has been. Your own little homemade horror movie in your head.
Mindfulness and Safety
Now it’s time to take a breath, close your eyes, realize you live in a very safe area and a very safe and sound property with locked doors, a burglar alarm system. Plus you. Where. Where could somebody be hiding? They’re not hiding in the sock door, for heaven’s sakes. And so just relax and go to sleep. And that’s exactly what I did. We’re about to run out of time, guys, so let’s go to pain waves, Donica, and wrap up with nick. Pain waves. Go ahead real quick. Then we’ll go to Donica and Nick and wrap it up. All right. Doctor heath, I have a question. Yes? In your practice, what is the best. Way to counter clinical gaslighting? The best way to counter what?
Clinical Gaslighting Discussion
Clinical gaslighting. Can you give me a definition of that? Gaslighting of medical providers to provide the wrong care. Yeah, but what’s. What’s your definition of gaslighting in that context? Anything that’s misleading and false towards me. To cause me harm. Anything that. So let me make sure on the same page. So. And correct me if this is not what it is. So you say in a Munchausen context. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. So are you saying that it’s a medical provider doing this or somebody else? It’s a hospital refusing to provide the right care because my parents told lies.
Legal and Ethical Considerations
gosh, that’s a really deep topic. I’m not sure I could give it due service in the time I have here today, but that has all kinds of problems. If you’re 18 or older and the hospital is providing information or taking information from a third party, even if it’s your parents, that runs into some federal hip regulations, at least in the United States, and it sounds like you may be from the US. So that. That’s a. That’s very troubling that the hospital will be communicating with your parents at all. I’m very clear with all kinds of family members. Look, I can’t talk to you without a release. Well, I just want to give you some information. Same thing. Got to have a release.
Understanding Permissions
We literally cannot talk about somebody else without that person signing a release saying that we can have a conversation. And so that’s. Yeah, yeah, that’s. That’s. So Wednesday, we have an Ama day. If you might come back on Wednesday, we can dig into that farther I think that’s very fascinating, but thank you so much for bringing that up. Donica. Nick. And then Ryan’s got to be the last one. Okay, Donica, go ahead. I will be fast. I just wanted to add to this conversation as well. I think one of the most detrimental ways that we end up telling ourselves stories is that we always want to believe that we are the good guy in whatever happens around us.
Self-Perception and Integrity
And I have seen extreme examples of people who have done terrible things, who look back into their memories and they see the story in such a different way just so they can believe that they haven’t done anything wrong, because we don’t want to believe that we’re capable of doing anything wrong. So it’s very important as we go through life to realize that we can’t always be the good guy. It’s impossible. And to begin to recognize where we are at fault. We can make amends for those things and be integral going forward. I love it. Great advice. Yeah, yeah. Tattoo to your pointing finger. I might be wrong. I might be wrong. And I got an appointment in three minutes.
Final Thoughts
And I’ve got a two minute meditation that leaves me 60 seconds between Nick and Ryan. Nick. Doctor Heath, if you want to tell better stories, then tell them to yourself. Write. Write every single day. Retell the stories in your past with you as a hero and doing the best things possible as your higher self. And write the story of your future. From the same frame. Oh, love it. Wonderful, wonderful. And to wrap it up, Ryan, thanks for coming up. The mic is yours. Thank you, Doctor Heath. Happy Monday. I just heard a little bit of the conversation I had. I had to come up and give my two cent about choosing the thoughts that we have.
Health Reflections
And what I wanted to say is that when I was struggling with my health, it was dang near impossible to choose the thoughts that I wanted to have. I could choose the ones I wanted to have, but automatically my body was aligned with low thoughts. So when that happens, or at least the way that I was able to overcome that, or the way that helps me overcome that, is reducing inflammation in the body. You do that by buying foods that are one ingredient, so you know exactly what’s going in your body. And to couple that with exercise, you create neurogenesis, and you can just create new thought patterns that way.
The Power of New Patterns
And it’s a lot easier than fighting the old. But thank you for letting me share that and back up. Thank you for coming. I really appreciate everybody else for being here today. I’d love to go longer. But I have an appointment, and so we’ll be back tomorrow. I put that link up in the jumbotron, and then on Wednesday’s AMA day. So if you have any pressing questions about spooky things, especially this month, or just psychology things in general, do come back. Wednesday is Ama day, but we’ll be back tomorrow.
Future Engagement
Talking about, well, Josh’s idea. He wanted us to do the flip side of a conversation we had a couple weeks ago, but this one beyond forgiveness. We’ll do a brief mindfulness exercise. So if you can, find a comfortable position and gently close your eyes, taking a deep breath in, slowly exhaling, letting your body relax as you focus on the breath, feeling the gentle rise and fall of your chest. Now imagine your mind as a house. This house is filled with old, dusty rooms, representing your cognitive schemas, patterns of thinking that have shaped how you see the world.
Mindfulness Exercise
Realizing that some of these rooms hold beliefs that no longer serve you, like ghosts lingering in the corners. And as you walk through this house, notice one of these dusty rooms. The door creaks open as you begin to consider what old, unhelpful thoughts are living here. Perhaps it’s the belief that you’re not good enough, or that things always go wrong for you. Just observe this thought without judgment, realizing it’s just a thought, like an image on a screen and not a fact. A thought and not a fact. There’s no material to it. It’s just a figment. It’s just a ghost.
Transforming Thoughts
Now take a deep breath and imagine clearing away the dust and the cobwebs. See the room filled with light. And as that light grows, let a new thought appear, one that may serve you better, such as I am capable. I can handle challenges with strength. Allow this new thought to fill the room, pushing the old, unhelpful cobwebs of belief aside, cleaning out the dustiness of your thought processes so that you can breathe deeply, experiencing the power of this new thought. Settling in, knowing that you can always return to this new, clean, improved room of your own power, making changes anytime you need to.
Closing Meditation
And as you take one more deep breath in, all the way up, exhaling fully, opening your eyes, realizing you can carry this new thought with you throughout your day. Thank you, my friends, for being with me. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow. Blessings around the room.
